Looking Glass

Looking back into how I got into the place that I was. 

Only seeing the bubble that I found myself in.

Having lost my heart and believing that I could only be loved and in love once. 

Hoping for something that would fill an emptiness that the outside world couldn’t see.

A desire filled from an unexpected place.

People that loved me talking behind my back:

Stupid

What’s wrong with her

I guess she’s happy

How could she love him

As well as:

When and how did she fall for a guy from prison? They asked amongst themselves.

‘She’s happy though, right?’ as they continued their silence. 

The looking glass providing only one side of myself –

an illusion,

a perception,

seeing only who I had been in their eyes.

Couldn’t they see that the person they knew was disappearing?

Even if they did, could they change the trajectory that I was on?

Words

Words from an outsider

– manipulating my reality.

Sometimes they dripped in love and compliments,

Sometimes covered in hate and disgust,

But always under the guise of loving me more than anyone else could.

The looking glass dark as it continued to consume me, as I fell deeper, in spite of the smiles that I faked for the outside world. 

The looking glass only allowing those looking in to see what they knew and not my twisted new reality.